Some days, it gets kind of overwhelming. Like when you are trying to proactively find solutions for your PDA child and face more obstructions. I haven’t recovered from term-time still. The devastation from the levels of violence and harassment have been squashed down, just to get through the days. So much calmer in the holidays, but the holidays are almost ended. She will have to go to college and it will all start again.
There was a professional recommendation for a particular medication that a GP can prescribe, for her anxiety. So off we trot to the GP, a feat in itself since the last visit there, there were full-on meltdowns and ranting. Our GP, for some reason, won’t play ball. Rather than see, that here before her is an autism family that has been through hell and wants to avoid more hell, it’s about her own “discomfort” as she hasn’t prescribed that particular medication before. She wants to have it done through CAMHS, even though that is not necessary.
Daughter won’t go back to CAMHS. To be fair, I don’t blame her. They were useless. But also I do understand that her PDA made her pretty impossible to engage. GP wants to place a huge barrier in the way. Even with daughter telling her she doesn’t want to go to CAMHS, GP won’t budge. A referral back to the place daughter doesn’t want to go, just to get someone else’s name with the responsibility attached to it. And also that would mean going through a lengthy process which would take months anyway, we don’t have months. It’s not about our child’s best interests, it’s about her making sure her own arse is covered. This is a medication that GPs are perfectly able to prescribe and has been used in babies. So now we are stuck.
The one thing left I had to hang on to, the potential solution, was this. And now it’s gone. Only three weeks left until start of term and we have it all to face all over again. Perhaps if the GP had to live a little while in my shoes, she would be more helpful.
So there are days, when you just sob. Because you have faced yet one more barrier and this was your last hope. Despite daughter being presently calmer, everything I have felt is still just below the surface and when you are beating your head against a wall, in frustration at people not listening, even the strongest façade crumbles and emotions take over. It’s futility of it all. It’s like every way you turn…
Parental expertise is not respected, professionals are completely tick-box for the most part, unwilling to be flexible to make things work for autism families. Nobody cares about autistics. Except those of us in the autism community, or those profiting from it in some way.
You know what’s funny? I Googled ‘unhelpful GP’ and clicked Google’s images. A little way down the page was a graphic about Asperger’s syndrome. I think that says it all don’t you?